Lost in Translation

From Listening Lynn...

Like many husbands, mine pretty much never listens. I have resigned myself to that fact, but the thing that annoys me the most is that if I ask him a question he’ll automatically answer “yes” or “uh-huh” without even hearing the question!

The other day I asked him if he had had coffee with his friend that morning. He says “yeah.” Although I am standing right there, not shouting from across the room, I can see he’s not listening so I sort of smarted back, “Oh, that’s nice. How’s he doing?” Hubby says, “How’s who doing?” I said, “Your friend, James…how is he doing today?” Hubby says, “I don’t know…I haven’t seen him.” I said, “You just said you had coffee with him this morning.” Hubby: “No I didn’t.” “Yes, you did. That’s what I just asked you. Why did you say yes when the answer was no?” His answer was one of the best: “I don’t know what you said…I don’t hear half of what you say.” Nice, huh? Of course, if I decide just not to talk to him for a while he wonders why I’m so quiet! K

Open Door Policy

From Flushed in Fairview:

My husband is a private person when it comes to the bathroom. Even with me, he’ll close the door when he’s going to the bathroom. The only time he leaves the door open is if there’s no one around.

I take annual trips to go visit family and always without my husband. One time, when I was away, he went to use the facilities, he didn’t bother closing the door. As he sat there for a moment, he looked up and realized, he wasn’t at home, he was at work! Fortunately for him and his co-workers, there was no one around at the time as he quickly slammed the door shut.

What do I do if I get hungry?

I'll tell you what to do. Smack yourself for thinking something so stupid. Unless you're a child, you should probably be able to scrounge something up to satiate your hunger. If not, you're just stupid.

I love this submission - maybe we shouldn't do so much for our spouses...

Sometimes my husband will go the entire day without eating if I am not home to make something. I really don't get it! I will get home and he will be like "good thing you are home...I'm so hungry I'm about to pass out."
He knows how to cook and is actually a good cook...I don't get why he would get to the point of starvation and not just grab a snack...