If the shoe fits...

In this case, it's "if the name fits..." I took this photo from my cell, so it's not exactly clear. This hotel's sign has been in disrepair for many moons, and I finally had to share it. There's just too many jokes that can be made from it. Now, to be fair, I'm not sure if the lack of enthusiasm to fix the sign is due to a man or a woman, but I can take a guess.

So, the next time you're in Grand Junction, Colorado and you're in need of a place to stay, try out the Value Lode. I'm just guessing, but I bet they have hourly rates.

One Track Mind

From Shredded in Seattle, we have the honor of relating to this post...

One day, I loaned my bank card to my husband since his had just expired and he was waiting on a new one to come in the mail. He said that he just needed to get some cash out. "Uh, honey," he says on the phone. "Your card got eaten by the ATM."

"What? How did that happen?"

Come to find out, he was at the bank, stuck the card in the ATM then got on a cell phone call. He failed to realize that if you don't take action with the card when it is spit back out to you, that the machine will suck it back in and shred it for safety. Then we were out both cards.

Talk about a case of only able to handle one task at a time...

Trophy Wife

From Manly-Man's Wife in Minnesota, we have this fishy tale...

So, last weekend my husband went to an ice fishing contest. Of course, I knew that meant he'd have a few beers, and I'd be annoying when he got home, because he's annoying when he drinks too much.

So later that night he walks in the door, standing there slightly wobbly staring at everyone. So, we all (my adult son, his daughter, and my other two grandkids) look at him wondering what could possibly be wrong.

Suddenly, he takes his arm from around his back and slowly and very unsteadily moves his outstretched hand from one end of the room to the other.

"Clear off the mantel," he yells. "Papa won a trophy, and it belongs on the mantel." With that, he moves to stand in front of every one of us, holding his shiny blue trophy in front of each face.

Well, I burst out laughing, more because he was having a hard time standing up, let alone with his arm outstretched with a trophy waving from it. So I start clapping, the kids start clapping and we add some hoots and hollers.

Then he walks over to the mantel, sets his trophy next to my candleholders and looks at me.

"Can you see it okay?" wobble, wobble.

"Yes, I can see it." I roll my eyes.

"Elyzabeth, how about you. Can you see it? I want everyone to be able to see it."

"Yes, papa, I can see it too." Eye rolling from the 8 year old.

Well, the little ones (ages 4 & 5) start jumping around hooting and hollering about the trophy and they want to play with it, of course.

So, for the rest of the night we get to hear, numerous times, the story of how a little 10 inch crappie won Papa first place in an ice fishing contest.

Were we glad when he finally fell asleep!

Well, after everyone left the next day my husband comes in and says, "Did Elyzabeth take another look at the trophy before she left? I don't want her to forget about it."

Well, I'd thought for sure he'd forgotten all about the night before with all the beer he had had. So I said, "Well, what we can do is take a picture of it. And you can write on it, "Elyzabeth, I just wanted to send this picture of my trophy so you and your brother don't forget what it looks like."

Well, we haven't had a chance to do that this last week. But I think we'll have an envelope in the mail on Monday, because sometimes, my hubby can be very, very funny! Even if he's annoying while he's doing it!

If you have a funny husband moment story to share, please submit it to kelly@kellymcdowell.com!

The Parking Bandit

This woman is being driven, or rather, parked nuts. Check out her stupid husband moment story:

He can not leave a store and head for the car. Always goes the wrong way. Then argues that it is the RIGHT way. Then when he realizes that it IS the wrong way will accuse me of moving the car. Seriously. So now I just head for the car, get in and wait.

If you can relate to any of these stories, drop me a line to let me post your story for the world to laugh at. kelly@kellymcdowell.com

The Babbling Bloke

Here's a submission from a fellow sufferer of stupid husband tricks... Thanks for sharing!

One day, I was getting all the ingredients into the breadmaker and meanwhile, he's babbling about something inane, and with some numbers thrown in. I know I should be able to concentrate better than that, but it threw me off how many tsps of yeast I'd put in. And even when I told him to stop talking for a minute so I could count, he starts talking about how he hates it when people are talking to him when he's trying to concentrate on something, not getting at all that's exactly what he's doing.

I believe Janine in Ghostbusters said "Men, can't live with them, can't trade them in for parts."

Yet, many a husband claims he really does listen. Further proof that just isn't true... If you have a stupid husband/boyfriend story, please submit it to kelly@kellymcdowell.com so we can share in your suffering. :)