The Absent Minded Professor

This wife has been afflicted with a truly forgetful spouse. I thought my husband forgot a lot of things, but this husband seems to have true forgetful husband syndrome. Check it out...

He IS the absent minded professor. Forgets where he puts things and blames me. He one time left the house to go to a meeting, FORGOT what he was doing so he came home and started to work. I asked him didn't he have a meeting? Oh! Right. Crap I missed it. But he had LEFT! Got in the car and was halfway there. I know he is not really stupid but sometimes....

The Parking Bandit

This woman is being driven, or rather, parked nuts. Check out her stupid husband moment story:

He can not leave a store and head for the car. Always goes the wrong way. Then argues that it is the RIGHT way. Then when he realizes that it IS the wrong way will accuse me of moving the car. Seriously. So now I just head for the car, get in and wait.

If you can relate to any of these stories, drop me a line to let me post your story for the world to laugh at. kelly@kellymcdowell.com

That Blows

Apparently my husband is not the only one that favors blowing his nose in the shower. Thanks to this sufferer for sharing her story!

My husband blows his nose in the shower too! So gross. I keep begging him to use his hands and then just wash them, after all he IS in the shower...he says "Eww that's gross!" WTF? but blowing it all over the shower is somehow not?

Getting Picked Up

This woman had the perfect comeback for her husband when he attempted to be witty...

My husband had to bring it to my attention yesterday that I made a sandwich and had left the salami on the counter and he had to pick it up. With out missing a beat I said without removing my eyes from the computer, "Well, I've picked your underwear off the bathroom floor for the last 26 YEARS and you don't see me bringing THAT up!"...perfect silence and an about face on his part..ha!

If the Boss only Knew...

This stupid husband moment or SHM is not from my home. I'm so happy not to be alone in my suffering. :) I believe many a husband to be afflicted with this dressing disease. Maybe someday we'll discover a cure, but let us reserve hope as it seems unlikely...

He got a job in an office recently where he has to dress nice. We had to go out after his first day and buy him 2 weeks worth of clothes. Every single morning he asks me to pick out his outfit. I am not his mommy. I thought I made this very easy for him when I purposely bought black striped shirts for his black pants, blue striped shirts for his blue pants, and khakis that can go with anything.

Thanks for sharing your suffering with the public!

Flexing with Fumes

This poor soul is making himself stupider on a daily basis. People, I urge you to intervene when you see stupid in production. Stop Stupid! Thanks for the submission, from a fellow Etsy user and SHM sufferer:

ok, so here is probably the dumbest one of all... so my boyfriend loves working out in the garage but it's COLD out there. He'll run a torpedo heater, a kerosene heater, and a propane heater at the same time. Every night he comes in and says he has a headache. Sometimes I go check on him just to make sure he's still breathing. I tell him to crack the door or something but he says that defeats the purpose. Can't tell him anything! Maybe he's trying to off himself so he won't have to hear my nagging anymore.

Dat's Just Nasty, Yo.

Oh you lucky people. No need for submissions today. I have my own great SHM (stupid husband moment) to post about tonight.

I made chicken salad for dinner tonight from scratch. My husband was nice enough to put away the leftovers. After which, I saw him rinse the bowl I used for the salad under water and put it back in the cupboard. Hmmm - problem. He rinsed the bowl, yes, but no soap, no scrubbing? I stop him and say, "um, did you wash that with soap and water?" He says, "No, but the chicken was cooked so it doesn't need to be washed with soap." Screetch.... halt. what? We actually got into an argument about why you have to wash things with soap. He claimed it does no better than water. Doy. Seriously, he's married to a SOAP MAKER. I know the friggin' merits of my product. Then, I call him out on just being lazy. He denies it saying he was just cutting corners. Doesn't that sound something like the definition of being lazy? Yikes. I need some chill pills now. As I think Aunt Jemima would say, "Oh, no you didn't."

What do I do if I get hungry?

I'll tell you what to do. Smack yourself for thinking something so stupid. Unless you're a child, you should probably be able to scrounge something up to satiate your hunger. If not, you're just stupid.

I love this submission - maybe we shouldn't do so much for our spouses...

Sometimes my husband will go the entire day without eating if I am not home to make something. I really don't get it! I will get home and he will be like "good thing you are home...I'm so hungry I'm about to pass out."
He knows how to cook and is actually a good cook...I don't get why he would get to the point of starvation and not just grab a snack...

Just take a breath...

Here's another stupid stuff my husband does post from another suffering wife... Not to say wives don't do anything stupid. We just don't talk about it. We love our hubbys, but here's another "stupid" story.

So we have an asthmatic cat, Brodie, that needs to be given an inhaler twice a day (I know, this story also qualifies me for the "Insane Pet Owners Blog"). One night a few weeks ago I noticed that when I finished giving Brodie his inhaler, the counter on it read "0" which meant it was empty. So I called the pharmacy and ordered a refill. Now normally my husband (who is also wrapped around our kitties' paws) gives Brodie his medicine in the morning, but I'm the one who manages his meds, dr.'s appts, etc. So I told my darling husband that if he could, please pick up the new inhaler in the morning so that Brodie has his medicine, as I wouldn't be able to pick it up until after work. He said "no problem" and I'm thinking I have such a nice, dependable husband.

Fast forward to 6pm when I come home from work. There is Brodie's old inhaler sitting on the counter and the new one still in the pharmacy bag sitting next to it. Once my immediate anger of "what the hell" had subsided, I reminded myself that I have the occational "brain fart" myself and that he probably got the new inhaler and then forgot to use it. So a few hours later when my husband comes home I jokingly ask "So, did you have a brain fart today? You forgot to give Brodie his new inhaler."
"No, I just used the old one."
"On purpose? Why wouldn't you use the new one? The old one was empty!"
"Nah, it still had something in there. He's fine".
My husband walks out of the room and I stand there dumbfounded wondering why on earth he would bother going to the pharmacy to pick up a new inhaler and then not even use it. I'm still completely perplexed by his "logic."

I know this "logic" - it's the "I wouldn't want to waste a potential penny even if it means the pain of a loved one may be involved." I too have seen it in action. Thanks for your submission, insane pet lover and stupid stuff my husband does sufferer!

The Babbling Bloke

Here's a submission from a fellow sufferer of stupid husband tricks... Thanks for sharing!

One day, I was getting all the ingredients into the breadmaker and meanwhile, he's babbling about something inane, and with some numbers thrown in. I know I should be able to concentrate better than that, but it threw me off how many tsps of yeast I'd put in. And even when I told him to stop talking for a minute so I could count, he starts talking about how he hates it when people are talking to him when he's trying to concentrate on something, not getting at all that's exactly what he's doing.

I believe Janine in Ghostbusters said "Men, can't live with them, can't trade them in for parts."

Yet, many a husband claims he really does listen. Further proof that just isn't true... If you have a stupid husband/boyfriend story, please submit it to kelly@kellymcdowell.com so we can share in your suffering. :)

Pulling Weeds

So, this is the first post in what I hope will be a series of very hilarious situations that women experience with their husbands or boyfriends.

To kick off the the blog, I'm sharing one of my husband's many stupid husband tricks.

Last summer, we spent a whole day planting flowers, bushes and such throughout the back yard. After all the extensive planting, we were exhausted and finished for the day. The next day, my husband had work off and I went to run errands in town. I came back to find many of the bushes we had planted pulled out of the ground and discarded among the weeds. I angrily went in to ask what happened - my husband claimed, "I thought they were weeds." OK - couple of stupid things attributed to him at this point...1. he helped plant them. 2. The bushes pulled were boxelder bushes which look nothing like a weed with their lush green leaves.

So, if you have a funny stupid husband or boyfriend story, video or photo, send them to me at kelly@kellymcdowell.com!